Not forgotten the blog just been a hard time with getting my head together to write much, l have done short tweets though usually from work.
My dad has been in the care home and we have visited pretty much every evening. I have also been on nights and my body has had a hard time this time adjusting. I have averaged 2 or 3 hours sleep a day or night depending if l am on or off duty and the rest of the time l have just been lying around like a wet noodle just feeling to drained to do much.
Last week l went and got another of my bad coughs and have now pretty much lost my voice again so waiting for it to all clear up.
The hospital social worker has not been to helpful she took on my dads case. I have extended his care home stay 3 times as my mum did not feel up to coping and my dad was not 100% happy about being able to manage. The worker was all "he can stay as long as he wants don't worry" but as soon as l went to arrange things l would get a huge lecture.
last week she visited my mum and made clear that there would be no extensions he was coming home this Tuesday regardless. I pointed out the ambulance transport was booked. She was not listening to me just chanting he can not stay ANY longer he HAS to come home. She visited my father told the care home we demanded he goes home no matter what and told him that it was "not his choice to stay in his own home once home" I had to try and calm him down as he was very upset at this. My plan was as soon as he was home the ss was out and a new care worker in l was not having her around.
Last thursday he started to get a bad chest infection, something he is prone to. I got some anti B from the Dr. Only amoxycillan as useful as sugar water but it was something. I wanted him to stay in the home till he was over the infection, the home were happy but no point in speaking to ss as it was made clear no was going to be the answer.
So dad got back on Tuesday at about 15:00. My mum was worried about how he seemed, l put it down to her usual 'molehill out of a mountain'. When l got back at 18:15 he was not good. About 19:30 It took hub and l to get him up to go to the loo and he was not too coherent. The carer's turned up at 19:40 to put him to bed but l decided to send them away and got him an ambulance.
As usual a fantastic pair but after getting him on 02 asap as his saturation was 60% and his pulse was all over between 20 and 49 his temperature was not registering in one ear and 33 in the other he went straight into resus. The stabilised him and he is back in hospital. When hub and mum visited yesterday they said he looked to be dying. Lips blue, non responsive and incoherent. Today the physio rang me to get an idea of what he could or couldn't do and said he was sitting up, and asking for another cup of tea.
The care home said he had not slept the night before he was due home and then he had the ride around in the ambulance till he got home and we all feel it tipped him over the edge. Had he been allowed to stay in the home till he recovered he would have been ok.
We will possibly look at longer term care say 3 or 4 months then reassess if he can cope at home. The care home he was in are happy to have him back they all love him, the only problem was distance for my mum, we will see what happens.
I am fairly slow on work at the moment a big worry for me. Hub doesn't worry l do will see what happens.
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6 comments:
so sorry to hear about all this. it is all so hard when we get old. the thing no-one seems to get is that this will be all of us and the care that old folks get should be what we ourselves would expect. so many (not all by any means) people in this field go on in ways that would make them cry if they were on the receiving end of it. it must feel so tough for you trying to sort it out. hugs
Thought it was probably your Dad Hon.
Keep your chin up and get over your own infection too!
I get to visit a lot of care homes. The good ones are great and the atmosphere always `up`. There are some amazing old people in there, all with fantastic stories. I hope to take my Harley-riding mates round to one this summer. The hard of hearing residents should be OK ;)Get fit and well soon.
Thanks everyone have been in close touch with the care home. The manageress visited on wednesday and said she thought it was a water infection as this can have the effect of total confusion etc on people she spoke to the nurses and asked them to check.
I asked again this morning by tonight not done. I blew and have to go along to get hold of consultant on ward rounds.
Told the sister "Do not whine to me he is incontinent and they can not get a sample, if they have not bothered to pass a urine catheter l will look at doing them for negligence because his treatment so far has been a bloody disgrace"
As to food they haven't been feeding him. They had soup there in a mug with a straw. I pointed out it was to thick to suck up in his state and was told that's how it is sent and they are not allowed to touch it or thin it.
Not good to annoy me l had her promising to to speak to kitchen staff about sending it thin. Told her were they not able to ask until l demanded it thin are they so bloody incompetent they insist on feeding food that is unsuitable so they can say the patient was fed.
He has thick yellow phlem pouring from his mouth and they have him lying flat as they can... he needs to be upright so it flows out and away from him.
He doesn't know where he is thought he was in paris? he thinks we are staying in a room there. He thought we had been in a car accident and my husband told him there was a big wind whirling outside we crashed in. He is not able to understand a lot. The hospital keep telling us he is lucid.
I have had enough of being lied to and my father not treated properly. I am also going to storm through the bloody place like king kong till l find the head l need to splat against a wall even if it is the chief executive and get the whole mess sorted.
Good on you...
21st century life is fine until things change... then the system is very hard on the weak, ill, elderly, and lack of work means less money and less choices for you.
I am sorry you are facing all this - thinking of you and your parents.
"...are they so bloody incompetent they insist on feeding food that is unsuitable so they can say the patient was fed."
Not incompetent, so much as their attitude is 'it's not my job to do...' because so long as they comply with the narrow guidelines on their job description, they are bombproof.
This is what a tickbox culture gets you.
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