Saturday, 24 September 2011

Motorhome & Mint Update

I just realised l hadn't updated anyone about the motorhome saga.

Since the motor home was collected by l assumed barclays -clydesdale barclays partner finance l have had 2 late evening phone calls when l caught them driving (yes l was on bluetooth) saying sorry we haven't been in touch. I told them l wasn't interested in sorry l wanted in writing confirmed it was barclays collected the motor home & all debts were wiped out. I was promised but nothing arrived.

Finally l blew my stack & for the first time called in my MP, never used one of these strange creatures before but felt if they are any use l may as well test mine. I sent her an explanation of what had happened and that all l wanted was confirmation it was barclays that had collected the vehicle & all debts were wiped.

I got a letter back she had sent a letter off to barclays & would notify me as soon as she heard back. I was counting on the fact the banks are under a lot of heavy dodo and the behaviour towards a widow is not going to go down well in the media which was my next step. I avoided them though till last as after their behaviour to me when Brian and Emma passed l am not overly keen on them.

The week before l was due to go away about 18th May l contacted the mp again & spoke to l guess her secretary. He apologised about the time taken but was just sending me a letter on from barclays but not to worry all was sorted.
I wasn't so much worried but l was fed up & pissed off & angry never a good combination for me as l then turn to instinct & someone gets hurt, l may get hurt as well but l never mind about that to much l make sure the target is though.
The letter arrived the next day have to say l was impressed my MP had well delivered the goods. This is a first given my normal feelings of loathing towards them.

It was from the MD of clydesdale -barclays partner finance my MP had contacted bob diamond as you know the boss tosser at barclays who had contacted him (MD) to get it sorted fast. All was cleared, they were at fault sincerest apoliges (l dismissed sincere as we are talking bankers of great & lofty heights not local bank folks) but the matter was now closed & he hoped l could feel that l was able to move on from a bad chapter in my life.

This left me one more mountain to climb. Mint & the creature from the black lagoon there aka bitch from hell who made it her life's work to be unpleasant despite or because of the circumstances.
I got untold numbers of letters threatening bailiffs & court for non payment, despite my letters & phone calls in return saying Brian was dead no more deceased and gone. Death certificates were sent 2 of them the initial & official post coroners inquest one & finally the estates department (who had been very helpful & pleasant) managed to get it into the bitches head & l was told by her that they would accept my letters but check up with me in 6 months to see if l had any money come in they could get their greasy hands on.

As 6 months were now up l rang up to speak to whoever l could as the woman who signed the letters was a ghost. The lady l spoke to was very pleasant but confused. She read out everything on the computer to me & said the account had been closed 6 months before they had no reason to contact me. She could find no record of the letter sent threatening me with a check up "in 6 months" & apologised for whatever had gone on & said they didn't usually check up like l was saying.

So result is as far as l am concerned the will is now closed all companies dealt with & l can get on with my happy little life which l feel no happiness for & people keep telling me l will. Yes l get small pleasures with some things but there is no everlasting joy.
I know Brian is with me & that does help a lot, l can not feel or see him although so many strange things have happened l have no doubt he is with me.

What hurts is l can't throw my arms round him, smell his stinky jerseys or t-shirts too sweaty to use that needs a wash but he doesn't want to dirty other things till he has ended doing whatever.
I don't hear his cheerful greeting to me when l amble up to give him a hug after he has been jumping or whatever & l have a coffee prepared for him or drop the hint l am hungry is he going to come & cook for me.
I deal with my mum thinking l would love a hug from him l can feel not just imagine as she gets up to ever more stupid things l have to deal with. To check letters l send off to make sure l am not overly honest about incompetent psychiatrists .
All the mirryiad of things that 2 people who still loved each other deeply feel & do have changed & l have a lot to learn about how to adjust which given the state of my mum it will be a long time before l have my own time to do that.

So life goes on but not with the joy l used to feel so l will see what the future brings & although l will do nothing stupid l carry a do not resuscitate card only give pain relief & sedation & have a "living will" drawn up on tight parameters by a lawyer & state it & who has copies of it is on the wallet card.
I have vague plans as in sorting work, wanting to buy a hardshell canoe & wanting to do a skydive & jump Brian's kit, the ring with Brian's ashes in is on the cards for the week after next but l have no big plans.
My 50th birthday next year l used to look forward to as l would have lived half a century it seemed a good reason to celebrate but not now.

On a positive when note when l do get positives l promise to post them not just the negatives in life. In the mean time life..............................

Monday, 19 September 2011

Gods Candles

I wrote this to explain to a special friend David C who has been a tower of spiritual strength how l feel about the night, it still needs tweaking but with me that can take years, it explains a bit how l feel about the night & why l love walking & kayaking in the dark, a very special time when you have just your thoughts & not the distractions of daylight:

God’s Candles

They assume the night is black, as black as Satan’s darkest sin
Inside they huddle, curtains tight, across the cold clear glass
Inside the rooms all lights are lit, to bring back their precious day.

They miss the softness of ev’n blackest night, no sin in it but love so bright
They miss the stars that pierce points, through a blackened velvet cloth of sky
Like untouched jewels of Angels fair, no earthly diamond pure as they
No blood, no pain, no wealth from others can be used gain them.
Their beauty and their shimmer owned by creatures of the night

Soft light falls upon the world below, spilled from the many faces of the moon,
From wide tooth grin too tight lipped smile, depending on her feeling.
Moon light paints black spans of water, with silhouettes of trees & buildings striding ‘long the waters edge,

Trees fold back to jet black groves, strange noises scare the wary.
Leaves that tremble in the gentle breeze, while light reflects from dew touched tips.
Light from heaven, not Satan’s pits.

Dusting's of mist in low patches hover, across the glinting, black still water
Untouchable by reaching hands it wraps in skeins around the body
Caused by temperature flux ‘twix land and water so scientists would say
But we know the truth, it’s breath from hidden monsters

Clouds may hurry across the sky and cover up the light
But above that cloud the light still shines, even if we can’t see it
Just watch the tides they know it too and allow the pull to guide them.

So pull back those curtains, turn off your lights and go walk in the garden.
No monsters there, just the place you know
Lit by Gods candles from heaven.
© CL VN 8/2011

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

New V Old

I remember the days you only had one or two. One tv channel, two types of loo roll soft or wax paper one type of washing up liquid, green a huge wow factor when l found a yellow opps sorry lemon flavour bottle.

Now there is a profusion of tv channels catering as they say to every taste, and trying to get you into things you never even realised existed. History to news, soap to humour, true crime to adverts, betting to health, cooking to diy so many others l am not going to even attempt to name them all. A lot are a waste of time others are brilliant and some not quite sure what side of the fence they have landed hopping between appalling and brilliant.

We have lost, l am sure it's loosing wasn't lamented the "cheap wax" paper on a roll. That stuff was deadly l don't know if anyone ever found a use for it be interesting if there was a use found as it was useless as loo roll.
Now there is thick soft, quilted soft, single skin soft, double quilted soft, recycled soft recycled quilted soft, uggs sorry the thought of recycled loo paper doesn't appeal.
Colours can match with any bathroom you care to put in, and there is some pretty awful bathrooms out there.

Washing up liquid l thought we had reached the zenith of these a couple of years ago with flavours like Lavender. Yet again l was wrong marketing men have gone positively nuts. Ginger and nutmeg, green tea, strawberry & peach, cucumber, apple blossom, summers day to name and along with the new names are new colours. Some very pretty purples or vivid blue they alternate with pale washy creams that look like badly curdled milk.
Every time l go somewhere new to work l find a different flavour and marvel at the mind that can come up with such garbage.

I am surprised they haven't brought out a "meaty flavour" to wash pet food bowls based on the myriad of pet food "flavours" for sale. Those would go off the shelf so fast the head would spin. Common sense has not been a strong point with UK pet owners in the past and it isn't looking like starting any time soon.

People seem to think that each fragrance and or colour must wash up even better than the old one they used as it has a fancy name. The fact it is just suds in a bottle seems to escape them. I just go for the cheap green at least this flurry of flavours has done us dinosaurs a favour, the "old" green has dropped down in price.

So while you wander down those long meandering isles choosing colours and flavours that some nameless suit has come up with, that will do just as good a job as the "old & discarded" think of those who have nothing in life, be it food or hope and just be thankful that you can still choose the banal and wasted even if you don't have much else.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Dog & Cat Law

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my mouth, it’s mine.
3. If it looks like mine, it’s mine.
4. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
5. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
6. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
7. If you have something and put it down, it’s mine.
8. If I chew something up, all of the pieces are mine.
9. If it used to be your’s, get over it.
10. If it’s broken, it’s your’s.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011


Just warming up after an evening of club kayaking. Loved it and learnt a lot. Went with the Irish student vet who said earlier in the day she was "proudly non sporting" after tonight, her first time she said she is hooked and wants to do more. The Italian vet who is seeing practice and has problems going straight on the water, it was her 2nd time. She improved a bit (maybe?)

Was great was in a hardshell not been in one of those since l was a kid. I have my eyes on one will need to go down to cornwall though to confirm so later in the year.

As l was only there for 1 session l was given choice of capsize drill or not...of course l stayed which ended up with me being first over. B-L-O-O-D-Y H-E-C-K! the water was cold.
When l got to the side l had a sever attack of giggles and couldn't get out so someone tried to haul me out, l was laughing so much he dropped me back in the water and made me go awaayyyyy to the ladder and climb out :-))

2hrs of fun, all equipment hire, excellent BCU tutoring and only £5 can not beat that.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011


Watching the people enjoying the river made me wish l could be out on the water as well but l didn't see how. I had kayaked when l was a youngster back home at a holiday camp l used to go to, l spent hours out on the water & loved it. I hadn't allowed for the fact that Brian was at work behind the scenes.

I had been at a fairly local practice, only 60mile round trip/day for about 4 weeks and had a couple weeks more to go on return l got speaking to one of the vet's vet as he had mentioned his "new boat". It turned out this was an inflatable kayak, my thoughts were the plastic play things you see on the beach, boy was l wrong. Reading up it turns out one make (one of the cheapest ones) has done the Amazon River 2xs in the 60s, they are no toy.

He bought his off Amazon so l looked into it. There was problems with the one he had, it was on for messing about in l wanted a multi use more serious kayak. Finally l found one that l liked & decided to save up for, not cheap at just over £300.
talking to him after he had his first outing he agreed with my assessment & said he was looking for a better one for himself the other was great for using with his young kids.

With saving up in mind l met up with some friends by chance a couple of weeks later and told them what l was doing. I was told a friend of a friend was selling a brand new, unused canoe for £500 and it cost £1500. I contacted J and arranged to buy & collect it. The canoe was to big & heavy for me, it took 3 of us to lift it on & off the car roof for a start so l took it the next day to Brookbank who put it up for sale for me and we did a deal on the one l wanted blue not red & bits: paddle, buoyancy aid, dry bag, pump, dry holder for phone, wet suit bottoms, neoprene socks & gloves. I want to canoe year round and felt l may as well get the items up front.

It took about 4 weeks for the sale to get sorted, to get my
British Canoe Union membership through so l could access inland waterways, rivers & canals plus problems with mum before l could get out on the water.

My first trip was 3 weeks ago l went out on the Leeds Liverpool canal but miss read google and the ended up at a lock with a 10ft drop to high to get out of or down to. It was chucking it down with rain and even the ducks & fish had looked for shelter. So l tootled around on the top end of the canal between locks getting the feel of handling in the wind that blasted across the water and the rain that drenched me, a good intro.
One narrow boater that went past well wrapped laughed and said l was crazier than he was. I know l was certainly wetter & colder than him so l guess he was right about crazy, but l was having fun.

The following week was clear blue skies, l found a new easier launch place and set out. After about 3.5hrs paddling l had this sudden thought..."l got here l now have to get back!" by the end of about 6hrs my back and arms knew it.
Was a fantastic day though and people were surprised to see a canoe so had lots of chats as l went past and hellos.

Thankfully l read up on paddles and got a good one that l can tour with. Warnings said distance with the cheap ones don't work as you get rubbing as the paddle connecting bar twists.
The kayak is very light l want to try with the skeg think that will help. As it isn't ridged the canoe twists enough that you may not notice but your muscles can feel the strain after a long day l love it though.

Fired up by this & liking the dark l decided to do a night tour & chose the opposite way as there was less homes. I set out at 19:00 got back at 23:00. I played the music saved on my phone and as the sun set played Brian's favourite song, which l had also played at his funeral "Wind Beneath My Wings" the music faded as the sun dipped & with tears pouring down my face l turned the music off & paddled in the silence with the dark descending, everyone home & the silence of the canal with glinting water to myself.
It was very spiritual & l have decided that as l like walking in the dark so kayaking in the dark is also my favourite time.

Scenes from Leeds Liverpool Canal

Night Descends

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

New pet ideas

I have been requested by my neighbour to think what breed he could get for a new dog as he has given in to requests. They had a lab who passed a few years back. l am a mongrel person and they may yet go for that but want to do the best from the start.
There is always kids 3 & 8 and various friends of theirs around the house. So must be child friendly,
Will be walked but not miles a day,
As few known genetic problems as possible,
Will be petplan insured
Easy to train
Easy to keep clean/groomed

My suggestion of a flat dog fitting in well was looked on with eagerness it fitted all the boxes bar training and even that is possible to a degree... it always knows when food is about. I said they would need to get a licence which may be a bit more difficult but hey it is an excellent breed and crocodiles can be very pretty.

So far though l am either mongrel or Border Terrier biased as my initial suggestion has been declined.

Feel free to add any but so far l have discounted pretty much the whole breeds book of suggestions on the vetnurse site. From genetic problems, thick/long coat, dodgy on temperament, excitable, to much exercise, to big/small and to.....

Once the choice is made l will update you on it.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Life Continues Part 2 "The Break"

The first anniversary of Brian's passing was a time l was not looking forward to but it was as inevitable as the tides. We had always talked about going to the Hay on Wye book festival but in the way of things kept missing it. Around September he gave me a poke and l looked it up. It was to be held for 9 days ending on the 5th June the day after Brian's passing.
Looking up accommodation there was a camp site just next to it so l mailed them, crossed fingers knowing l would get in as it was so early and as l had such a strong push l knew l was booked whatever happened.

A couple of weeks before the event l asked a friend if she wanted to come with me, she lost her husband about 14years ago and would be a support if l needed, and she cooked, a major consideration.

I decided to contact the site organisers and see if l could fit on a smaller site, again all went well and they changed me to a cheaper site so £107/7nights as opposed to £140/7nights. They were excellent with their organising and the loos etc were all kept spotless. The rest of the year the field is full of sheep and not a camp field.

It was my first proper away in CB and the drive thanks to Tom was clear and well directed. We found the site and went to our slot, l turned on the gas and we celebrated with a coffee.
The "over the hedge" to the festival was a bit of a cheat yes it was but you had to walk about 1/2 mile around the field & houses as there was no way through the hedge, not that that mattered the exercise did me good.

The festival was not at all what either of us had been expecting. It was full of all sorts of talks which l had known about & not booked due to cost, coffee places, a few charity stands and odds and ends and very few books.

Being a book lover this was a bit weird calling it a "Book Festival" however Hay on Wye more than made up for that they are full with second hand book shops about 40 of them. I found 8 books from an author l was looking for. If you love books then get over to the town sometime they are amazing.

Getting talking to Celine & her Husband who had a stall in the town Mara Sculptures with sculptures from Zimbabwe we found that the small stand a gallery from town took at the actual festival cost 30K. We were more than a tad taken aback until speaking to the people who supplied the coffee at the camp site and were parked next to us we found that a coffee stall at the festival was 130k that was just a gobstopper.No wonder the costs of things were so high.

A big bug with me and l am sure many others was that 02 doesn't work in the area, in fact l never got 02 back until we were well out of Wales. I contacted them afterwards and got a weeks refund for it. Luckily Ann has 2 phones and l put credit on one and managed to stay in touch with Mum.
I could get intermittent use after midnight with the odd text in or out. On the last full day l found if l went down through the camp field (huge area) down the road about 30yards, over the style, through the field of sheep, over the next style, past the thicket of trees, up the hillock full of nettles l could get a signal.
All other suppliers worked, according to 02 they are in the process of sorting out signals but if you are on 02 & not been to Wales be aware the signal is either patchy or impossible. I lump in all Wales as after talking to people apparently it is like that all over at least North Wales. When we have been in the past l am not sure if we noticed as it was just quick day trips.

On the 4th of June l went on my own down to the river, found rather a dangerous path that was vertical and slippery and spent the day hidden from view by those on the river and people from above.
I was found by a loopy border collie who threw himself down the slope at high speed slurped at me with a big grin and hurtled back up the slope when he was called.
I wished the many canoes going past had quieter occupants and would have loved to be out there on the water but as l don't own a boat or anything this was impossible.
There was a rainstorm at one point, l scrambled under a tipped over oak with a thick roof of leaves and stayed nice and dry.
After about 7hours l went back to the camp site and spent a quiet night before we set off home on the 5th.

As we drove home on the 5th l decided to side track and go via Langar to spend a short time there. It was nice seeing friends again and l went for a quiet walk round the airfield with Brian, and memories.

Life Continues Part 1

About time l got my finger out, l enjoyed blogging but it has gone so far into the background it has become defunct after speaking to a good friend of mine David who has been a very strong support to me l think it is about time l came back and stated to make it a part of my life again. I enjoy writing and it may not be grammatically or spelling correct but it makes me feel better and l think some folks enjoy it.

So much has gone on in life it is hard to know where to start but will give it a go and do it over several postings so l do not turn out one overly long tome that no one, including myself will read:

Work has gone on apace but not much at the night place they are owned by a major group who are going nuts about wages paid so they make the staff swap or do without help, as staff leave or go on maternity (a common thing for some reason in veterinary work) they are not replaced.

Most of my work has been in the day time and l have been all over the country. Apart from Wales or Scotland, pity l like both those areas.
Latest trip was to Malmsbury and staying in Tetbury at their flat there, what lovely towns they are especially Tetbury, full of flower baskets and an annual Tetbury in bloom contest that most of the town enters. Add that to the Cotswold stone and old style means, nightmare to park, pretty to visit probably nightmare to live bet they are full of listed buildings.
My best job was about 2.5miles from home. I was able to leave a few minutes before opening up in the morning, few minutes to get home and slept in my own bed.

My accounts are the bain of my life. When l say l am about to do my accounts there is 3 whhooshes of air as Brian His guardian Angel and Mine head to the corner of the room and the table and chairs there. While muttering about who let her loose on paperwork & oh no there goes a quiet night.
"No dont touch that figure nooonoo, oh good grief, finally you got that sorted, we told you it was wrong column"
"Now change that decimal point it isnt 9000 it is 90 no no LOOK there THAT decimal, would you please stop looking over there and stressing and sort that decimal point out?"
They carry on like this during the 4hrs or so it takes me to do about 2 lines of accounts

The presentation for the Royal Aero Club Awards was amazing, 2 of my friends went along to support me Craig & Kev.
I ended up buying a dress from Asda and have to say l did look smart for once and even had shoes on, very "not me" my usual garb being barefoot and casual.

It was a long day l drove to near London left home 2am caught the tube into London, met Craig and spent the day with him. he was fine that l was barefoot all day. We went into hard Rock Cafe next to the RAF club had a coffee and l changed into night smarts & we met Kev & his girlfriend.
What a night it was lovely to see so many people l knew getting awards, Stuart, Al & Pixie, not to mention those l didn't know or knew by sight who got awards other skydivers or for other disciplines in the air.
Afterwards l retraced route and got back about 2am after no sleep for 24hrs and living on adrenaline. While driving down l discovered a new website they were discussing on radio4 l use the site quite a bit now called Moodscope

Brian's will is finally sorted. It took a letter to my MP who contacted bob diamond big boss at barclays who contacted the managing director at clydesdale, barclays partner finance to get them to sort it and send me a letter of apology.
Unreal how they have behaved l am not interested in their apology just wanted it sorted. That was finally closed about 10 days before the first anniversary of Brian's passing.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Brian's Presentation

I am sorry l have slowed down again, l am still working as much as possible and on the positive side it was the presentation for Brian at the British Parachute Association AGM in January. I gave a very short thank you speech on Brian's behalf. I had coppied and practised with a short poem but got an urge to read back on Brian's facebook. By about 5 days before it was so strong l had to get up in the middle of the night and do so. It wasn't easy scrolling back through the messages when he passed but l finally found the reason. He had posted 2 short paragraphs and they were his words l knew what l was meant to read out so l did.

"Brian is over the moon and very humbled with your amazing way of thanking him for his contribution to the sport he loved.
On behalf of Brian l would like to thank his friends, fledglings & everyone in the BPA for this wonderful honour.

Brian said in 09:
Skydiving is not just a sport or pastime, it can become a way of life, like a curse with consequences but can also have a very positive outcome. Personally it keeps old people young.
Just enjoying our sport more than l have for a long time, still some miles left in this old git, Take care"

It was a long emotionally hard day but everyone was fantastic. Until l saw the video l was completely blank about what had happened like the funeral it was all in still strobe flashes of various bits.
I was asked how l was able not to cry? if l had cried l couldn't have spoken and it was to important to thank everyone on Brian's behalf.
For me, Brian is still with me, it isn't something l believe, it is something l know and l draw strength from that.

I decided late last year to take up skydiving again after a 19yr lay off will see how it goes. The date of my training is secret until after l have done my first AFF jump, needless to say it will be at Langar.

Things at home are not going to good here my Mum has had a breakdown and is back on the psych ward. She spent 7 weeks there over the Xmas period bullied there by the psychiatrist and yes l do mean bullied.

She came out for 2 weeks and her meds which l had said from the start were not working proved how badly. The last 3 days he (psych) insisted she had new meds despite the fact they caused very bad hallucinations.
On the 2nd Sunday (3rd day of the meds) l got a call from the home check they found mum collapsed. I shot round she was up but rubber legged so l removed the meds being a Sunday no one to get help from. She was fine by mid afternoon.
Next day she was going again and l realised it was the main tablet. She was in a state and the psych nurse a nice lass called round and agreed she had to go back in. The psych and l had a HUGE row on the phone l blame him totally for things getting so out of hand no matter how often he is told about what's happening all he wants to do is up the same bloody meds.

Mum went in and finally lost it when the ****** psych went and told her l was rude and needed to be more polite to him and others (others means his sidekick who l like as much as ****** psych). The words were the same as those he used to me amongst others in our argument. This was the tipping point my mum has been pretty much crying since and he STILL hasn't sorted her meds.
I will give him this week (3rd back in) to sort meds then l bite the bullet and tell them to get mum a new psych but the problem is other one "offered" is his friend so is it frying pan and fire?

I am having trouble getting enthusiastic over things at the moment, l want to but but not actually getting a grip on happy. Brian and my Angels have been working overtime today a small switch inside was flicked in dealing with my mum, l didn't get stressed not sure the reason but it was like knowing you are almost at the top of Everest. There may be another bloody great mountain in front but l know l am able to get over this one and so the next will have to be aware l will climb it as well.

Monday, 17 January 2011

Collected at Last!

The motorhome went a few minutes ago. The battery was dead and they had to jump start it. The reverse which was difficult has totally gone they had to push it backwards to get it out.
An acquaintance said back in July time the gears needed to be synced and it was a common problem on fiat easy to sort. He was a mechanic and had he realised there was a problem before we packed up the and were leaving the braai he would have sorted it for me.

The people who collected it are apparently going straight to the auction with it. Now remains to be seen how much they get for it l have been told by the main dealer (Brownhills of Newark) who have been very helpful that it will be about 23 to 25k.

I just want to get things closed so l can move on having company's hassling me gets tedious when l am doing my best and they seem to lack the competency to deal with their side properly.

No matter what they have hassled over it has never actually been my fault it has come down as theirs. From Mint threatening legal action and bailiffs for non payment despite my phone calls, letters, death cert.nothing actually seemed to register on their tiny minds.
To barclays who didn't "do" anything that was the problem l was sitting with what felt like a time bomb on my hands.

I feel like the mine field is not quite so active and things may settle down at last. My advice to anyone dealing with wills and estates. Check your legal standing then grab on like a pitbull with a bone, don't let go.
Don't be afraid to call in help or advice when it is needed & write down names, times and dates who you dealt with and check calls are recorded keep copies of all correspondence. So long as you do things right, send what's needed when asked for paperwork wise, they look the idiots and will continue to do so if it ends up in court. Thankfully so far avoided but l was & am willing to do so especially over the motorhome.

Thankfully we both have wills but above all else:
Because whatever you think you know about dying & whatever you believe about your goods and family & inheritance you don't know until it has affected you & when emotionally ripped apart that is not a good time to learn you were totally wrong in damm near every one of your assumptions.


It has been a damaged penis wave with animals in the last 2 shifts we have had 3 dogs with badly damaged penis 2 were sewn back on as not totally ripped off. The last was put down due to damage, it was totally ripped off and age of the patient.

The other thing we are having is the "diabetic" month. Last shift we had 2 unstable diabetics in last night was 5 unstable diabetics. Not sure why we seem to have these plateaus of certain cases. In the diabetic cases it isn't Christmas indulgence, all the owners are used to dealing with diabetic pets and very strict.

It seems to happen in waves, we will have a mass kidney failure wave or a liver problem wave or ....something wave.

Works been really slow coming in lately. Usually l am at the emergency clinic so don't notice but at the moment not many folks taking time off so no work.
The locum agency's say this dead patch at this time of the year is normal. There is a lot of long term maternity cover out there but 1)It is far away and 2)I only like short term it means you are not tied in and end up having to ask for time off or mess the practice about when you take pre arranged time off.
I was offered a couple of jobs at places l had been and while said l may consider them they thankfully came to nothing, l doubt l could have stomached the places.

Still l am ok for now and taking advantage of the break. I worked last night and by the time 23:00 came l was so exhausted l could barely make it to the car and drive home. For the first time in ages l got 6hrs uninterrupted sleep as opposed to a couple of hours 4 max and very interrupted.

Friday, 14 January 2011

Motorhome update

Several phone calls over the last 3 days. As l got impatient and kicked up again. They have asked where it is, again!.

They were on about asking the dealer to take it, l said they won't touch it and they didn't believe me. They made the mistake of not believing me again as they are slow learners. Upon speaking to the finance guy at the dealer they suddenly believed me he updated me about the ripped earhole he gave them over their behaviour towards me and made it clear they wouldn't touch it.
1) It has been sitting for 6months
2) They don't want anything to do with barclays as kicked them out couple years ago from providing finance.
3) Don't want to get involved in any way with barclays again.
4) They don't have storage for it as have their own full inventory they can make money from as opposed to costing them trouble.

I reminded barclays when l gave them the storage info (again) they owe a not inconsiderable amount, heading for a couple of grand for storage which had they sorted this out 6months ago wouldn't have accrued.
And you guessed correctly, l warned them months ago about the fees, and told them furthermore they will not be able to collect it until it is paid. The keys and log book are "safely" lodged at the storage place.

The info was passed like a hot potato to "recovery" if they want to drag their heels that's fine the money is mounting up at one end and the vehicle is devaluing at the other.

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

barclays and the Motorhome

The saga is still dragging on with sending the motorhome back which is in Brian's name.

The finance was taken out under clydesdale/barclays finance it was a large amount as we had a camper we were trading in and they rolled figures around. The finance was all in Brian's name and l couldn't afford to keep the camper so l arranged for barclays to take the motorhome back.

Well l tried to, but they said it was a loan and they wanted the money. I pointed out it was a lease purchase according to the paperwork and all over it said that the vehicle remained the property of clydesdale/barclays until it was fully paid up.
I got nowhere though they refused to speak to me just sending messages via the desk jockey who answered the phone and 2 letters saying the same.

I spoke to a lawyer who checked the paperwork and said "If you sell that vehicle you are committing theft" and agreed that l should do what l had threatened as l needed the space at home. So in September l took it to a campsite and dumped it there, removed the insurance and notified dvla of what was happening and that as far as l was concerned it was the property of barclays bank.
Even though l told barclays and sent them a letter of this they never replied. I had spoken to the Financial Ombudsan who said give Barclays time to reply before sending the paperwork in.
I gave up waiting for a reply to my letter telling them what l had done and in late November re-rang the FO. They were shocked l had waited so long and had actually put it down as sorted. It was a nice guy there l spoke to who said hurry up and get the information in l shouldn't have put myself through all that worry for so long they had meant wait a couple of weeks and not months so l sent all the paperwork to the FO

This was a mixed blessing. It turns out that the FO couldn't deal with the finance on the motorhome as it wasn't finance that fell within their remit. The adjudicator who got the case though was an Angel. She contacted barclays and pointed out the problem at which barclays sent a letter that said.. "Oh my you are right we DO own the motorhome, l wonder how we overlooked that?, would you tell the executor that we will collect the motorhome, sell it and wipe out the debt"

I was over the moon, the FO adjudicator said if l had any problems to get back to her and she would see what else she could do. She was not happy at all at barclays behaviour and shoddy treatment of me and was upset she couldn't deal with them properly.

After a couple of days l had no paper work so rang barclays and back on the treadmill.
"You have to sell it"
"No you do you told the FO that you would sell it and wipe out the debt"
"The site can sell it"
"No it is a campsite they are storing it"
"Yes they have to sell it"
"No they are a campsite.."
After about 5x repeating this l lost my temper and asked if the conversation was being recorded.
"Yes of course"
"Good as l am speaking to a congenital idiot listen and l will speak VERY slowly...Some people have a bit of land, you go there and put tents up and stay there for a couple of days. There was a patch of dead ground and they let me dump the mototrhome there, there is nothing there but bare earth and the odd tent... do you understand?"
"Well get the dealer to sell it" the was the uncompromising reply
I lost my temper told them l would see them in court and slammed the phone down. I rang the FO back who had given me her personal number.
She rang back about an hour later having spoken to the FO liaison at barclays who would investigate it and get back to me. I spoke to him the next day and he was pulling in paperwork and would speak to me after Christmas.
True to his word he rang me and told me to speak to recovery and if any trouble to get back to him.

I finally felt more positive and spoke to recovery where l now got a second full name, barlcays people won't give out names that way they can practice denial. She said they were looking into if they could just collect it or needed to repossess it.
She rang back at the end of last week that they were speaking to the dealer to see if they would collect it and sell it or if it had to go to auction and should be able to let me know this week.
I am awaiting that phone call but feel l may be getting to the end of a 6mth nightmare with barclays/clydesale finance.

We shall see..........

Saturday, 8 January 2011

End of 2010

I have not really stopped for the last few months. Work at my normal place went quiet and l enjoyed getting out and about and seeing how the other half lives. Last night was the first night l have slept in my own bed for over a month. The time l was home over Christmas and wasn't working it was too cold to sleep upstairs l huddled under duvets on the sofa with heating on and doors shut.

I went to stay with a friend for 3 days down London but then the first lot of snow hit and l was stuck there for a week. Finally got home at just gone midnight of the Friday missed 3 nights work and felt awful for having let them down even though there was nothing l could do and they were fine knowing l would never let them down on purpose.

Work has carried me down to the south of England where l stayed with a friend of ours in Hastings Brian was his surrogate Dad.
I drove to work up in Sussex and Kent and back each day and worked at l think it was 5 different practices in 2 weeks but have lost track. The round trip was about 140mile each day, but l would rather stay with a friend so l didn't care. What l hated was the bit of M25 l had to drive on OMG the thought of doing that daily would drive me nuts.
His crazy dog, a Labrador, need l say more ate the bag of double pink poppy seeds l took down for him to plant in Brian's memory. However poppies will grow all over the small woods l am sure as Rosie was dashing around off a lead in the undergrowth!

I met a friend of his who has become a fantastic new friend to me, he has driven me to distraction at times, although good friends do that.
Kev was the only one l would allow to come with me to Brian's inquest. By that l mean anyone was welcome to go but l didn't want to sit with them. Kev isn't a skydiver he is is a fireman who teaches BA and has never met Brian.
I felt that Brian's death had hurt so many not just myself but skydivers, l knew l would find the inquest hard and couldn't l suppose the word would be "carry" more hurt from his friends mine was enough to cope with that day.
A lot offered and l couldn't explain easily so if they read this l hope they understand why l said "no thanks l want to be alone, but you are welcome to go just not with me". It was not them it was how much l felt l could carry.
I have already put a small bit in about the inquest in an earlier blog. It is over it was the expected verdict, and it changed nothing in that Brian is still dead so there really is nothing to add.

I worked at a place in a town with a weird name won't say where as l really disliked the practice, although the locum vet (only the 2 of us there) was lovely. The up side was l was placed in a nice huge pub for B & B.

Down to the Fenland's of Cambridgeshire, 3 different practices and staying in 2 different towns to the practices that was yet more driving. My sat nav broke on me. Thankfully he came back on but l had a nasty shock. Luckily l managed to remember part of my route and then it came on again, no tom and l go into meltdown.

My final practice for 2 weeks before Christmas them Christmas week off and worked over new year was one in Bristol. Which l enjoyed it was all night work but they were very quiet.

I decided to treat myself to a new sat nav as tom has played up a couple of times, he is nearly 4 years old and as stated my sense of direction is abysmal.
I am now the proud owner of the Tom Tom live 1000 not all the functions are working yet but they are coming on line. It guides me round traffic jams, at junctions splits into lane view so l can work out what road to go on. Tells me street numbers and names all sorts of nice things I did look at the 1005 it has a 5" screen as opposed to 4 3/4 but decided the present one fits in my little case and l would need to pay a fortune for another one.

Health wise end of year sort of crammed it in. Washing machine died on me so l have another coming have had to change delivery date 2xs due to family and work.

I got multiple chomps on the hand from a dog, luckily smallish dog but still left a few deep holes which l decided to get antibiotics for as being run down l knew sods law would get infected a 3 hour wait at an empty NHS walk in did not do my temper any good.

I had to go to the emergency dentist while l was away due to a cavity, he put me on anti B for an infection, took an x-ray and talked garbage telling me that the bone was fine. WTF l didn't expect it not to be, he told me off for putting in temp filler from the chemist. I don't like BS and wasted money but l was in too much pain to argue.
My dentist went nuts at other dentist (didn't ring him but was tempted)& said l didn't need anti B l needed it filled and my temp. fill was why the pain died away, the nerve that was exposed and swollen and got a rest.

I had a huge build up of my allergy. Have never discovered to what exactly just general chemicals seem to affect me, think being all over and the different washing powders etc triggered it. I was dosing myself with antihistamines 3xs a day to try hold the itching off. I finally caved in and had to get some stronger ones from my idiot Dr. 3 weeks later l am finally less purple on my legs and not scratching myself raw.

The worst one was the leptospirosis (weils disease) scare. This is one of the few notifiable diseases in humans. In fact in October 10 it killed an Olympic rower.
I was intense nursing a dog and asked a couple of vets about lepto but was told no way, then he died and life moved on.
I went back over the new year to be told "we were trying to decide if we should tell you sammi died of lepto, but l decided to tell you as l don't think any one else was going to bother to."
I was furious, one of the minor side effects can be death or any or all of the following liver, kidney, heart failure. It is a very painful disease having seen dogs with it and knowing a vetnurse that caught it.
It can manifest as severe headaches something l had been having but figured was the tooth due to nerve problems to be sure l rang the OOH Dr who agreed but we had a pleasant chat, then she commented about the cold like symptoms.
I burst out laughing at this point and told her it was either going to be swine flu or lepto so there was no point in worrying. Thankfully l was ok but l was not a happy puppy.
Had we not known fine but to know and try to decide whether to "bother" telling someone is another thing entirely.

So now we are into 2011. No proper work on the horizon but to be honest l need a bit of a break. I recon Brian is behind this work bottleneck to force me to rest, work will come in when he unblocks the log jam l have no doubt.

Friday, 7 January 2011

We aint finished Christmas yet!

I nipped into Sainsburys for some bit's last night. Surrounded by all the few days post Christmas sell off's, when many people still have Christmas decorations and cards up, there, spread proudly on several shelves, was a display of Hot cross buns!

I staggered off poking myself in the eyeball to see if l was possibly hallucinating but no.. they were still there and a bit further on was Easter maltesers, they seemed to have a rabbit ear top on them.

I gave up at this point and scurried out of the shop muttering darkly about Easter, Christmas and commercialism. I am totally not religious which is just as well because if l was l think l would be offended at what is a total corruption of something that a lot of people hold close to themselves in favour of the fast buck.
As it is l am just fed up of all the false hype that goes with life nowadays and seems to try and stop people finding their own meaning or none for feast days in favour of mass brainwashing, overspending and consumption.

Thursday, 6 January 2011

Brian's Award

Sorry so long no posts l think my head is as sorted as it will be for some time. I have been working all over the country for the last 3 or so months but am now settled back at home.

I want to wish everyone a great new year and after the bad news l have had to get a new washing machine as mine died, had a big tooth cavity, got a dog bite, had a big allergic reaction thankfully now settled, and a lepto scare over a dog we had been nursing and no one wanted to tell me it had leptospirosis.. l was furious at that one.
So here is my best bit of news that came out of the back end of 2010:

I received an email the other day from the British parachute Association. Brian's friends had tried to get him voted the Skydiver of the year. However the BPA felt that this did not go far enough and l received a wonderful email.

The award will be presented in spring at the Royal Aero Club Awards ceremony l will go on his behalf to receive the award. The award is only given on an occasional basis and under exceptional standards.
I burst into tears when l read about it and am so proud of Brian and his friends and l know he is as well:

Brian Laithwaite – Outstanding Contribution to the Sport

The Jim Crocker Trophy for an Outstanding Contribution to Sport Parachuting has been awarded to Brian Laithwaite in memoriam. Brian was an exceptional coach/load organiser who over the years served as CCI at two Drop Zones, and devoted decades of dedicated commitment to training the next generation of skydivers.

Brian’s enthusiasm and sheer love of the sport shone like a beacon. No-one was ever left out with Brian. He knew how to make learning fun. His greatest satisfaction was to see his fledglings fly, and many have gone on to make their own mark on the sport. Brian suffered a fatal entanglement in summer 2010. He lives on in the memory of so many skydivers who look back with tremendous affection on the direction, fun and solace they enjoyed in their formative time under his wing.