My other half celebrated 30years skydiving last year. As usual l missed the party due to work but l digress. About 8 years ago he was in a formation that funnelled, in other words it fell apart. The lass who happened to be holding hub’s arm grabbed harder instead of letting go, she went over his head still holding his arm and pulled it out of it’s socket.
He said he had that “opps” moment and decided that as his arm was waving at everyone with no control he had better get his reserve out which he did when he got to normal opening altitude. Like many skydivers he hates the canopy ride looks on it like a taxi ride, the fun is before so do not open till you reach opening altitude.
I was reading and glanced up to see if l could spot his canopy. I never bother watching so am never sure which is him, if l am not doing l get no enjoyment watching others doing and enjoying. A good book is more fun.
I saw a reserve and it looked like hubs jumpsuit colour. I scanned looking for a floating main and couldn’t so hoped someone had spotted it but no jumpers were pealing off following a different path as they do when they follow a main to save a fellow jumper a couple of £1000 so l wondered if he had a total mal. I sighed and went over to greet him landing. A few other jumpers came running over. Being a worried wife l was thinking of cost of main and freebag (called that due to action not free of cost), cost of various other bits of hardware and also reserve repack I have my priorities right.
By now hub had landed next to the pit (a gravel circle the closer to the centre the more points you get in accuracy competitions) and folded flat onto the ground near me. At least l did not have to go far. I grabbed the reserve and helped collapse it and pulled it round to him holding his arm.
It is dislocated he said don’t touch me help me get this lot off (equipment) I looked down at him, all my wifey sympathy bubbled up.
“Well thank fuck you put the new French doors in during the week cause god knows when you will get round to it now”
“I am more worried about work he said l am off in a week” At this point he worked away at sea but they let him go as he said he could do the work one armed with a helper.
I let the other jumpers get his equipment off.
The co owner of the centre arrived holding a mug of tea for him. Hang on said hub let me get this lot off. Eventually he sat up and held out his hand for the mug.
“Sorry mate” said his friend “l was thirsty and it looked good l drank it”
“Got an ambo coming” said the CCI walking over with a big cheesy grin.
“WHATTT don’t be stupid l am not going in it what did you waste a call for? Someone else will need it more than me we can go when l get home go cancel it”
As he started to argue the nee naww men turned up.
Hub started to apologise to them for wasting the call. They were fine and said that as they would have taken him 180 deg. to a hospital about 10miles the other way to where we were going agreed it was stupid to go with them it wasn’t like he was dying. They suggested we stop at Lancaster if needed or go to the local a & e when we got home.
Much to hubs disgust they got a mug of tea each and one even accepted a slice of cake as well while he remained dry they agreed with my veto on drinks in case of ga….. lifes tough.
As it turned out l decided on Lancaster A & E l was tired of his moaning at bumps in the road and grey pallor. Despite his muttering just bloody go home. Once there they did try and relocate it with heavy sedation but it was no use his screams echoed through the department.
“We have almost given him the total amount of morphine and midazalam for his size we can said a worried Dr to me and he won’t go down to sleep properly”
Wifey sympathy once more hit high speed “Whack in all you can then just give a bloody good go and ignore his screams, you won’t have to put up with his moaning if he needs a GA” l said.
The Dr looked at me like l had 2 heads but l just glared back, he sighed shook his head and walked back.
Still no luck he needed surgery. I once more short circuited his options taking his clothes when l left to stop him catching a train the next day while l was at work and he was stuck till l collected him later. I knew him of old and he would stagger out post surgery after discharging himself half dead to get back as he hates hospitals.
The final kicker was the next day when the surgeon sought him out to chat skydiving and said. “Well you did a good job one bitch of an arm to replace and anyhow what’s someone your age doing falling out of aero planes” He did apologise for the age crack when told firmly that hub was having fun.
On showing him the article on the female skydiver hub asked same as l did what is an experienced person doing that they can not use their other arm they have got 2 and only one was damaged he also muttered smugly l landed next to the pit.
Hub in a 36way last year
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