Car 54, Where are You?

I have been on nights so not really with it much the last 6 nights. First night on we had another police incident. I was trying to decide what to call this blog. Either after the American sitcom 'Car 54 Where are You' or 'Very Special, Special Branch'
When l told the vet who had been involved with the previous incident about the following when she finished laughing said.
" There is Special Branch and a Very Special Branch, we seem to get the Very Special Ones."

We had a dog in that had to have a mouth swabbing. At least the sergeant l spoke to this time was very helpful and said he would get someone and swabs to us as soon as possible. No behaving like a prick like the last one l dealt with.
The police we get are pleasant but what are they taught? The 2 that came were not the probationer material we had last time, these looked to have been in a bit longer.

About 5am 2 officers turn up with 2 huge packets of swabs. I only needed 2swabs out of about 50 in 2 bulging packets of sealed swabs.
They were clueless about what was needed. Did they leave the swabs then go, did they write them up, where did they take them. I insisted they stay while l swabbed which took all of 2 minutes. As to where they went to I suggested they ring their sergeant for info
After swabbing they looked at the swabs like they were aliens so l passed 2 empty evidence bags and said seal them in there and write the details on, my name area swabbed FWIN etc. still blank looks, and nothing written on the bags, oh well not my problem, l had told them and offered the details.

The male officer grabbed a packet of suture material and asked what it was. I told him, he looked blank. “To stitch things up” l tried again, still vacant looks. His partner, female stared at him with an ‘oh no here we go again look’
Shrugging the male put the suture material in the bag with the unused swabs. What did you do that for l asked?
“ermmm” he looked at me blankly.
I grabbed the packet from him and took out the suture material and said “That’s our biosyn to stitch up animals.. unless there are some scroats mouth you want to use it on?”
His partner raised her eyes to heaven as it was obvious from the blank look the male officer did not understand what l was saying only the fact he was not walking off with our packet of biosyn.

He was a cat person and asked to chat to some cats. I introduced him to one of the medical cases on his way out, my mistake they stood purring away at each other, well the cat purred he stood muttering ohh who’s a lovely lad then and other such comments.
His partner mindful of time said to hurry up the nurse is busy, was it that obvious l thought.
“Coming” was the reply.
After about 3 goes she grabbed his arm and dragged him out.

Outside the practice on the front steps he stopped, and said “ohh we don’t have your details”.
“Nope l did try and give them to you” l replied.
So he gets down on his knees and plonks everything onto the floor and scrabbles round his pockets for his notebook while trying to gather up the spare swabs and evidence bags that have come out of the plastic bag and spreading across the floor out of control.
With a sigh his partner takes hers out and writes my name down, he manages to gather everything up, stands up and they disappear, literally it turns out.

At about 8:45 just about to sink into my bed l get a phone call from work.
“Did you have the police here earlier to swab that dog?”
“Yes, what’s up?”
“Well police control have been on do you know who they were because they have disappeared, well not exactly disappeared but they do not know who came down and there was just a garbled message about things from some one in the police, they do not know who the message is from and no one knows who or where anyone is”
“No l didn’t bother with names l was busy and tired, ring the sergeant dealing with the FWIN”
“Which station were they from?”
“I don’t know l said” getting a tad miffed, “for gods sake get the police to put a call out for a nice but vague male officer that likes cats and a pleasant, but exasperated female officer who is organised”

So if anyone recognises the pair and they are still lost, please do not ring me, l am to tired to care.