I was in Tenerife running the rescue kennels. It was the end of lunch. I had Pat one of the committee members/helpers with me and we were at the local garage that had a small café attached, when Elsie rang me.
“Oh hello dear” said Elsie “I have just been to the kennels with Frau Weigner and dropped a dog off there. Her English neighbours dumped him when they went back to UK. The thing is he is a bit nasty and only the neighbours and Frau Weigner can handle him. He may need putting down, she understands this. I will leave it to you goodbye dear”
I had learnt by now that Elsie’s little problems made me work. We went straight back to the kennels and found a white German Sheppard locked in a kennel. Blanco as he was called hated the world. Elsie was right this was a PTS dog, and had to be done ASAP l needed the only empty kennel for a dog due in later that day. No way would l trust Blanco in with any thing animal or human.
Pat stood at the bottom of the passage staring in horror at the dog. I pulled up a couple of syringes of Rompun a very strong sedative and got my homemade dog grab ready.
“Right l told her, when l grab and pin this bastard in the corner you stick those in him where ever you can and inject him” I told her.
“What? no way” she said going whiter than Blanco. “I am scared of needles and l faint when l see them, and no way am l going near that, it isn’t a dog it is a demon”.
“Belt up and get a grip on yourself. This needs sorting now so stop pissing about. Use these to practice with and get the feel of” I snapped with all the deep understanding l could muster. I shoved an empty syringe a needle and bottle of antibiotic into her hands.
Pat managed to draw up and inject it back into the bottle a few times but looked very ill.
**At this point health and safety shut your eyes and don’t read on**
“Right l said lets get this sorted” and got Blanco out and pinned in a corner. To be fair Pat was doing her best. I was not to keen but it was a case of needs must. A scared person waving a large amount of dangerous drugs around with a dangerous dog is not smart but had to be done.
There was one very close moment. Pat almost fainted. I pushed her backwards into the kennel walls so she wouldn’t go into the passage back/head first. This nearly allowed Blanco to get a hold of me as l had to loosen my grip on him, and while she was going into her faint Pat almost rammed me with the needle.
Still she didn’t faint, l think slamming into the kennel side woke her up. We got it done. When Blanco was asleep l put him down, and notified Elsie. Later l placed his body in the bins on the way home. In Tenerife there is no where to put bodies other than the tip. No animal crematorium and with volcanic rock no real place to bury bodies unless it was a farmers field or a beach. Somehow l think people would complain at those 2 areas. The other option was an area exploded with dynamite, again not viable, anyhow no sane person would let me loose with dynamite.
This should have been it, problem solved. Until 7am the next day when Elsie phoned me.
“Oh hello dear”
“What” l asked suspicious?
“That’s not very friendly dear”
“Elsie you never ring me at 7am and after yesterdays little gift l am very suspicious, back to my question what are you trying to do to kill me now”
“Oh dear” She sighed. “I did say he was a bit nasty, oh well all sorted and done. Anyway Frau Weigner wants to come and visit Blanco’s grave. She is very religious and feels she wants to see him on his way and say sorry it needed to be done”
“No problem l will take her to the bin l threw him in” I said
“No dear don’t be like that, she wants to visit his grave, can you not just do something”?
I drew a deep breath ”I can easily find the Basura wagon that collected the bin, the lads can tell me what part of the tip he went on how’s that”
“Not funny dear she will be with you later in the morning but l don’t know what time, l will leave you to sort it please be gentle she is very upset and religious”. Elsie rang off very quickly, by the time l could call on all the saints to drop a bomb on her.
My trip to work was done at about 90mph l did not even finish the coffee l was drinking. I rang Pat up on my way out off the house. She had been due in that morning. Her mother was on holiday staying with her and she was under extreme stress. A day with me was apparently less stressful than her mother. “I need you there now we have an emergency” was all the info l gave her and slammed the phone down before she could ask what was wrong.
Pat stared at me like l was crazy. The place was sitting on top of solid rock, only dynamite was going to dig a hole that’s why the animals went in the bin. Ok what about we pile up rock. Not easy the rock was attached to the volcano. So we settled for sweeping up sand and carrying it over to a clearer part between the cactuses.
I forgot to mention those didn’t l thousands of them in all the spare spaces very big plants with very sharp thorns. They made a rhino horn look small. Dead sections of cactus spread by wind lay all over "clear" areas. We managed to clear a section and pile up sand, pebbles and rocks to look kind off like a grave, assuming you were drunk, half blind and cross eyed that is.
We were just walking in when the Frau turned up. She was in tears, carrying a HUGE bouquet of flowers, a big black bible and a smaller book. Pat legged it and left me to handle things, the traitor. I took the Frau around the back and left her. She spent about 3 hours there. Reading stories saying prayers and singing hymns. She left the flowers on the grave. I threatened the council lads around with excommunication if they touched the flowers. Frau Weigner came back every day for about 3 days then once a week for almost a year until l left. She would sit by Blanco's "grave" and read peacefully with her umbrella up to shade her from the sun.
I do not know if she realised the grave was empty or not. I felt awful lying to her, but it gave her comfort and she was so grateful she gave the charity a huge donation.