Sunday, 14 December 2008

Quid Pro Quo (Part 2)

At this point the auxiliary pointedly looked at the dog and poked my ribs. I had been about to sort it and did not need telling twice. Muttering "Excuse me that patient is in trouble" and went over. I picked up the dog and carried him out to the vet asking the 2 white women [owners] that the black couple had brought from somewhere via car, to wait a few minutes please. The obnoxious client started to rant at me, l ignored her.

The vet came over to examine the patient and went to call the owners in. I went back to the front. As l was walking back the taxi turned up.
I went out and told him what was happening and asked him to wait as the police would be here and probably escort her to the taxi.

“Err huh”? He said

l slowly repeated it.

“So l do what?”

My snarling reply made a rabid Rottweiler in attack mode look sweet. The driver sunk into his seat muttering

“I wait here huh” and locked his door.

I stomped back in. Busy tired and fed up. As l walked into reception the black guy was still leaning against reception.

“You know” he said with a grin starting to bubble up. “You are not racist”

I had enough for one night and was about to let rip. Being male he saw danger signs, being smart he backed off fast, held up both hands and laughed “No no he said please let me explain”.

I decided to give him about 10 seconds, if he talked fast. I was not in the mood for laughing, and l had enough BS to last a year.

You know when you carried the dog through. The crazy woman started to scream you were a racist do you know why?”

“No, l don’t l just blocked her voice out” I told him.

“Because she has a white cat and that was a black dog you took through. She is not right in the head l do not know if it drink or drugs, possibly a mix of both”

His wife piped up “And you were right about her stories, she has changed it so many times my head is spinning, l think it just has hair matts and is not comfortable.”

I knew what she meant about spinning heads. My brain was also doing the salsa trying to join all the dots up of black, white, dogs cats and everything inbetween.

“Let me try something” he said. Walking to the client who had fallen silent and was staring vacantly ahead he said “You know you look awful and you agree your cat is not ill just uncomfortable. What about taking him home and then in the morning going to the vet, it is better than going with the Police tonight, l will even hold the door open”

By now the woman seemed to be have hit her wall. She looked round with a glazed look. “Yes, yes no, l don’t know what l want anymore you all confuse me l will ok go ok” and staggered to the taxi.

“Many thanks, l have to say l have had enough for the night” l said to him.

He smiled “So l noticed and think nothing of it. I know what you mean about Zimbabwe I understand. I am also fed up about people ranting on about racism. Racism is ugly but so are many things in life. Unfortunately it is an easy target for people to carry on about. They do not understand what real racism is though and all they do is cause problems and muddy the waters.”

I rang the police to cancel the call out. As l was about to put the phone down the controller said “wait wait l just realised your ……… vet’s aren’t you, we have a vet type problem”.

I did consider saying “No you wrote the name down wrong, we are ……” l knew l was not going to like whatever occurred to the control. Now l know how Houston felt when they heard ‘Houston, we have a problem’.
“Yes, go on, hit me with it, it’s a fair cop” l said trying to lighten my gloom.

“Great, RSCPA won’t help us and we do not know what to do. What do you know about spiders that spit poison”

I looked for something to poke my self with to see if l was dreaming. “Go on” l sighed

“Well we have someone that was brought a spider over illegally from Australia, and gave it as a gift to a friend. The spider has escaped and is spitting at him. The thing is, it is a poisonous spider and the spit is also poison the guy says”

Trust me to think of calling the police for help. I should have guessed they would want a return favour, swop one crazy client for one poisonous spider that is hardly a fair quid pro quo.
“I want ALL the detail on it l told him. I will consider going only if l know everything about it. In the mean time shut the door and no one goes near it. Possibly it can be sucked into a vacuum cleaner and then dealt with. Block under the door as well so it can not escape.”

“Great you lot handle so much” the control chuckled “l don’t know why l did not think of you before, l will ring you back”

I stared at the phone, glad he was having a night he could chuckle over. I am getting nightitis (fed up of nights)

The couple who had brought the 2 women with the ill dog were looking at me. “Having fun?” he said. I told him what was requested.

“You are just going to get it… just like that”

“Well someone has to and spiders don’t worry me” l replied.

He looked at me like l had just confirmed the crazy woman was still here, he had helped a sane person to the taxi.

I went back to see the vet and tell him what had happened also confirm if the dog was going to be put down. The dog looked and smelled like it had Parvo, the clients no money. The vet confirmed all 3 predictions to me.

At this point the police arrived even though l had cancelled the call. The auxiliary came down to hold the dog for the vet and l went to speak to the pair. They probably wanted an excuse for a break and a coffee.

Before l went l mentioned the poison spitting spider to the vet. He point blank refused to let me go. It really did not worry me l was quite happy to go, he however was not happy about me going.
He stated that as we had no proper protective gear, did not know what the spider or toxin was he flat refused. I said l would find out more, then go. He grinned and said over his dead body. That would be easy to arrange l told him. Men can be a PIA at times, it needed sorting l was happy enough to sort it. All l needed was a plan, and they are easy enough to make.

I had a quick chat with the 2 lads that turned up. Oh god l am getting old l never thought that police would look so young. I always thought that was a myth that my parents and older people said. I pointed at the coffee and said to them “Sort it yourselves l am busy”.

I rang Chester Zoo emergency line, no answer, rang Whipsnade zoo, no answer, Manchester airport animal handling no such department Manchester airport told me. I thought of Heathrow and googled their animal handling department.
Nice bloke l spoke to, but he told me the same info l had told the control, so that was not much use.

I rang the police control back to tell them l could not come out and give them Chester Zoo number to keep trying. A female controller told me it was sorted. She wouldn’t elaborate. I tried to push to make sure that who ever the idiots were they were prosecuted. As to what happened to the spider or the people that had it, I don’t know.

7 comments:

Annette said...

MY god, what an exciting life you lead.
Wasn't that gentleman nice? He really helped you didn't he?
As for the spider, well,
I'm afraid I'm not as brave as you....I could never go near any spider, let alone a poisonous one!

Dave the Dog said...

Whenever I'm on our charity fundraising and education stall I'm always amused to be asked "Is that (snake/spider/reptile/fill in your own) poisonous?"

I usually answer "Only if you don't cook it thoroughly!"

The look on peoples faces when you explain that all spiders are venomous is very entertaining.
Then you let their stress level go down by explaining that very few British spiders are big enough to pierce the skin let alone 'envenomate' you.

I got called out by our control room one night (courtesy of the Police control room. Snap VN) to a householder who had found a 'funnelweb spider' in his kitchen.

After arriving and talking to the householder about whether he'd been abroad, especially Australia I received "No" on all counts.

When I found the web, it was in the small space between a unit and the washing machine and was a good example of the labyrith spiders web.

I told him this but he was still very nervous.

There never was a local paper report about any funnelweb fatalities. ;o)

Vetnurse said...

Annette brave no stupid probably. And yes he was good to help out it was one of those situations that could have turned nasty.

Dave as soon as the control said it had been illegally imported from Aus. l knew there was a potential problem in the making.

In Tenerife l left loads of big webs up in the kennels to help with insect catching it was a symbiotic relationship. They helped me l left them :-))

Annette said...

Well, isn't this funny?
I have just killed a spider in the bathroom,sorry, I probably shouldn't but....I was actually having a shower and wasn't sure where it was going too!
One of those with a little body and the longest legs you ever saw.
YUK.

Vetnurse said...

We won't ask where the spider was heading!

However 2 simple remedies:
1 glass 1 bit of paper to slide under it. or throw a towel over it and get hub to shift it.

Hogday said...

Blimey Vetnurse, I just decided to write a little story on my blog about Rhodesia and then flicked over to scan your blog and found your latest tale with Rhodesian references. I swear it happened that way round! How spookey.

Stonehead said...

I think someone was having someone on. The Australian spitting spider is only 5-7mm across and hunts very small insects.

The main Australian spiders to be wary of are the redback, the funnel web (particularly the Sydney funnel web), the mouse spider and the whitetailed spider. Bites from the first three can be fatal if no antivenom is available, while bites from the whitetailed spider can result in very nasty ulcers and blisters.