Veterinary Nursing & Zoo keeping

You know you’re a veterinary nurse or zookeeper when...

After work, all you attract are flies;

Your tan lines wash off;

Your pets greet your shoes and not you;

You never shake hands without brushing your hands on your trousers first;

Your snot is black and not clear;

You get really excited about a good solid poop;

You will eat most anything from the animal fridge as a snack;

You have two closets...one for work and one for the real world;

You have more photos of you animal kids than of your friends;

You wash your hands thoroughly BEFORE using the toilet;

You politely decline to shake hands because you know where your hands have been;

New pooper scoop bags, new types of disinfectant and shovels are more exciting than diamonds;

You can be bribed to do anything for chocolate cake;

Over lunch the discussion involves the consistency of faeces;

The casserole at the Christmas party reminds someone of an animal’s discharge and you eat it anyway;

Your uniform has blood, anal gland and poop, stains and fresh samples;

You lock every door behind you;

You can make water run uphill, because architects believe all drains should be in the highest corner;

Talk of animals’ faeces does not gross you out when eating;

You are not fazed by a faecal sample in the fridge next to your lunch;

You can eat a chocolate sunday as soon as you finish cleaning up the parvo kennel;

You look better when you wake up than when you get off work;

Friends and family get concerned you are in an abusive relationship because of the number of bruises and cuts you have all over your body and the fact that it takes so long to try and remember how you got them;

When you can fall in a pile of poop and laugh it off but if your hose stays kinked for more than 2 seconds while you are hosing, or your disinfectant spray bottle or your paper towel rolls off you go mental;

You have eaten things off the floor, after you have logically thought about it and use the 10 second rule;

You use surgical tape for EVERYTHING;

You can carry a full 5 gallon bucket of water without spilling a drop;

When you find yourself becoming defensive over the animals. Especially the really ugly ones;